Archive for November, 2008

13 Nov

When Friendship Goes Overboard

We all have close friends of the opposite sex that we pour our hearts out to and hang out with. It is perfectly acceptable in today’s society for men and women to be platonic friends. You may have your priorites sorted but can you say the very same for your other half?

With the openness of today’s society, how come you still feel that strange feeling everytime your significant half got a call from that his/her close friend? Maybe there was this person in particular that made you uncomfortable for reasons you can’t quite exactly put your finger on but not other close friends of his/her. How do you explain that?

Sometimes we have out instinct and they can tell you things you couldn’t see. If you are having any doubts about whether your spouse are cheating with someone close and you just can’t lay it to rest until you know for sure, check him out for alert signs below:

Observe the way they interact. Do they talk softly and laugh out loud on things that seems ‘exclusive’ to them? It would be odd, even rude to do that when other people (including you) were present and not know what they were talking about.

Are there a lot of flirtations going back and forth like touching, play fighting, hugging and whispering taking place? Well this is obvious but if you caught them interacting at this level when left alone, you have good reasons to probe further.

Who do your spouse confide in – you or this other person. Sometimes who we tell our heart contents out to depends on how well we can talk over the issue with a person. It may be fine if your spouse wish to have a little session of heart-to-heart with the friend on issues you already know and talked about. The problem only start when this friend actually know more than you do about your spouse because he/she has chosen to tell the ‘friend’ over you.

If you are part of the problem, it is natural to not consult you but it also give direct authority for this other person to barge in into your private lives. This will be very threatening to your position as the spouse and is highly indicative of cheating, if not internal problems in your marriage that may lead to cheating anyway. 

When you experience this, you are actually experiencing symptoms of withdrawal exhibited by your spouse. It is a communication breakdown, a form of separation really. And if this other person have any ill intention to separate you two then he/she has got the advantage to sabotage it by poisoning your spouse’s mind.

05 Nov

Signs Your Wife Is Cheating On You

You have a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach, something is not right but you can’t quite figure out what that feeling is about. Your spouse has become distant, he/she is working late on a regular basis or, maybe your spouse has moved out of the house with no explanation. You suspect there may be someone else but every time you bring it up with your spouse, he/she denies the possibility. All the signs are there but you don’t have any proof. So, pay attention to the signs and your instinct but, be careful and don’t confuse signs with proof.

A cheating wife can cause much emotional trauma, not to mention the harm it could cause a family. That being said, it is very important that you are able to recognize warning signs of infidelity and cheating while it is early. Only then can there be any resolution to the problem – and that in a way that the relationship and the family are saved.

Here are some signs of wives that cheat. You have to be observant to be able to notice them at all. This problem is especially compounded when you put into consideration the fact that most men are too busy at work to be able to notice subtle trouble at home.

Some of these signs of cheating are “tongue in cheek” while others are tell-tale signs that commonly appear with a cheating husband or cheating wife. 

1) You find birth-control pills in her medicine cabinet, and you’ve had a vasectomy.

2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.)

3) Your cheating husband or wife stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.

4) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn’t tell you about it.

5) He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.

6) She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.

7) She buys a cell phone and doesn’t let you know.

8) He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.

9) The cheating husband carries condoms, and you are on the pill.

10) Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.

11) Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.

12) He becomes “accusatory,” asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.

13) Raises hypothetical questions such as, “Do you think it’s possible to love more than one person at a time?”

14) He buys himself new underwear.

15) He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.

16) The cheating wife stops wearing her wedding ring.

17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.

18) Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.

19) Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.

20) He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.

21) He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.

22) Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.

23) Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.

24) You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work – but supposedly worked on those days.

25) Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.

26) Spouse’s co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.

27) Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.

28) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.

29) He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress’s house and had to eat the dinner you prepared when he got home.

30) Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.

31) His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband’s shirt.

32) The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.

33) You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.

34) Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is “touchy” and easily moved to anger.

35) You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.

36) He/she loses attention in the activities in the home.

37) Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.

38) He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.

39) She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.

40) She has a “glow” about her.

41) Atypical erratic behavior.

42) He sneaks out of the house.

43) She sleeps with her purse by the bed

44) She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.

45) He tells you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.

46) The telltale signs of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.